For We Are Bound By Symmetry
by egyouppt
Summary: "Rach," he says, "let me tell you a story."


**A/N:** _okay so apparently even I miss Finchel too much to write a bunch of angst like I normally would. I'm still working on my last chapter of LNAHLM, if any of you are reading that. but anyway, here's one shot for you. I hope you all enjoy it and your feedback would be greatly appreciated :)_

_Disclaimer: Erm, I don't own Glee. If I did, Finchel would be back together by now._

* * *

><p>Sometimes it still amazes him how soft her hair is or how smooth her skin is. Or how expressive her eyes are or how full her lips are. And okay, a million other things too, but for now he's rocking her gently in his lap as she sniffles into his shirt. He murmurs soothing words into her hair, his hands stroking down her back.<p>

He hates when this happens. Not because he's insensitive and doesn't want to help her feel better. Nothing like that. He just hates when people do this her and how she lets them do this to her. Because why can't anyone else see how perfect she is?

Okay, she's not perfect and, like, she makes mistakes and sometimes she talks too fast and she burns their dinners a lot. But all things considered, she's about as close as a person can possibly come to being perfect. Even after years of being together, he still gets caught up in her. He just wishes she'd realize that maybe these other people aren't as important as she likes to say they are.

She's warned him several times about her "pathological need to be popular," but New York is a big city. And he's learned in his months here that these people don't stop for anyone or anything. Truthfully, it's a bit overwhelming for him, but they'd done the small town thing even after they'd left Lima and he'd always been able to tell she was itching for something more, something better. And so here they are.

"No one here likes me," she whispers into his neck. "It's just like high school."

He pulls away a little to look at her face, his thumbs brushing over her cheeks to wipe away the tears. "If it's just like high school," he says, "all those people are gonna come to their senses and realize how awesome you are, babe."

She doesn't say anything though and he sighs. By the time they'd graduated, New Directions was pretty tight all around. And okay, it had taken most of them a long time to appreciate Rachel the right way. But the summer before their senior year, they'd gotten back together, but they'd also all formed more solid friendships. Rachel and Santana are actually still friends now. Well, none of them are, like, _not_friends now, but she talks to Santana regularly.

And yeah, it still surprises him a little how close they'd grown, but they're good for each other, he thinks. But sometimes he wishes they'd stayed upstate with her so Rachel didn't feel so lonely or unpopular sometimes. He does his best, but sometimes he thinks she feels like he thinks he has to tell her how wonderful she is because they're dating and stuff. Well, as much as people _just_date when they're twenty. Not that he doesn't consider it dating, but the term dating just seems so high school.

He works a lot until he can afford school in the city. Sometimes people tell him that he'll never go back since he didn't go immediately after high school, but he's determined to prove them wrong. 'Cause the last thing he wants, even out here far away from everything Lima, is to be working some minimum wage job for the rest of his life.

She's working in this little deli and the people there aren't very nice to her, but he's pretty sure they're just not really nice to anyone. But she won't ever believe it. And he's running out of ways to assure her that she'll make plenty of friend when she starts school in the fall, given that her auditions are very hit and miss, and even the rolls she does get are minor. Still, he's proud of her, so proud, and she just never gives up and that makes him prouder.

"I'm nice to them," she insists. "Sure, there are times when I'm intense and occasionally bossy, especially if someone is doing something incorrectly, but I'm _nice._I've been working there for almost three months And they still don't even say hello to me when I arrive in the mornings. No one likes me," she repeats sadly.

He sighs again and shifts her so he's sitting between his legs as he leans his back against the couch. He doesn't know why they sit on the floor so often, but they do. Okay, not that often. He guesses it's just when she collapses in his arms and it's easier to lower her to the floor, like what happened today.

She leans her head back against his chest and looks up at him from under those long, curling eyelashes curiously. But he just smiles a little and takes her hands in his, squeezing a little.

Okay, he thinks, he really needs to get the words right here. Because if this doesn't work, then he's not sure what will. "Plenty of people like you," he starts. She scoffs. "Love you, even."

He watches as her lips purse, but she remains silent. "In a lot of different ways," he goes on. "Rach," he says, "let me tell you a story."

She gives him that questioning look again, but her eyes are considerably less red and the remnants of her tears have dried of her cheeks. And even so, she's so beautiful, looking up at him earnestly, that his breath catches for a minute. And if in high school he ever thought he'd be the cornball guy who turned into a chick just looking at his girlfriend, he would have laughed heartily. But that's what he'd turned into. To be honest though, he can't find it in himself to regret it. He likes where he is right now, for the most part, and in all the parts that really matter.

"It starts like this. There was this kid and up until his sophomore year of high school, he never thought much about anything besides video games and well, normal teenage by stuff, maybe. Anyway, one day he got blackmailed into joining the glee club, for a reason he still isn't able to explain to this day. And for a while, he thought it was gonna be the end of his life as he knew it. And he was right."

He smiles a little, remembering, then continues, "But unlike he thought, it was all in a good way. 'Cause ya see, he met this girl his first day there. And she kinda scared him with her really intense eyes and even more intense voice, but he couldn't deny that he felt pulled to her."

He stops for a second, remembering. Just being able to sing and let it all out, even though he'd been scared witless of her and intimidated and everything, it still just felt so liberating. After Mercedes had freaked out on them, practice had gone considerably better. And the more he'd heard of Rachel's voice, the more it had moved him.

"He was kind of a dick to her," he says, frowning. "But not on purpose. He really liked her, actually. But he was pretty insecure and his girlfriend at the time was uh, controlling is the nice way of putting it, and he quit 'cause he thought his popularity was more important. But this girl, the intense one, told him he was better than that and she made him _feel_better than that. So when he came back, he worked hard to show her that. Their little glee club put on a kickass performance of 'Don't Stop Believin'' and well, he felt like he'd gotten back a part of his soul that he'd been missing."

He sees her lips quirk a little and he presses a quick kiss to her temple. Maybe they don't have glee club anymore, but sometimes when they go out, they sing duets together and it still feels the same. It still makes him feel…_complete._Sure, he likes to sing as rule, but he doesn't do it that often, except for in the shower and in his car and stuff. But they only time he ever really performs anymore is his karaoke duets with Rachel. And okay, sometimes he really does miss it, but…wait, wait. Okay, he's supposed to be telling Rachel this story and stuff. He gets sidetracked too easily sometimes. He thinks he needs to work on that, but for now, he's got more important things.

"It wasn't long after that he kissed her for the first time, you know." He curls his fingers in her hair. "He knew he shouldn't have, but she looked so pretty and she was so nice and it felt really good. _Too_good, really. And even though it was the last thing he wanted, he left her there. Things were kinda awkward after that and they didn't talk about what really happened until like a year later. Anyway, but the short of that is that he never really stopped thinking about her, even though he knew it was probably wrong."

It's weird, he thinks, 'cause he remembers that day perfectly—that day in the auditorium, but he's forgotten a trillion other things from his high school life. But he still remembers how it felt the first time her lips were parted under his and the gentle roll of her hips. It'd been too much, and he'd been embarrassed to be that worked up after, like, two seconds of kissing her. But he'd thought about that kiss alone in his bedroom for weeks, until she'd kissed him again and he had two kisses to choose from. He snorts a little.

"But then his girlfriend told him she was pregnant with his kid and he panicked. The nice girl, she was quitting their glee club because she felt underappreciated and he needed her back in it so they could win competitions and he could get a scholarship and stuff. But also he just kinda missed her; he hadn't told her this up to this point, but she was his best friend, and the only person who really cared about him all the time. She came back eventually and he was really proud of her. He was always really proud of her, actually.

"And they went on in this weird state of just-friends-but-wanting-to-be-more-than-friends for a while. Until she told him she needed to tell him something important. Apparently, his best friend was the father of his girlfriend's baby, not him." He's still unable to keep his voice completely free of bitterness about that. Sure, he's amicable with both Puck and Quinn still, and he'd forgiven them long ago. But it doesn't mean his heart doesn't still hurt when he thinks about much he loved the daughter that was never really his to begin with. It just kind of stings. But he sighs, 'cause it can't matter that much anymore and he's not upset about the way things have turned out; he loves Rachel. _Loves_her. So that's all that really matters, right?

"It happened just before the team's Sectionals competition and he kinda quit again, but their teacher talked some sense into him and he showed up just in time. And she looked at him like he was kinda a hero, and for a while he felt like one. And then he listened to her perform one of the most moving solos she's ever performed and in that moment, he knew that not anything could ever stop her from being a star. And he really liked that. He really, really liked _her._But it was hard for him, getting out of this crappy relationship. Being humiliated and stuff; she sorta understood that, but she wanted him too much to let him heal." He sighs a little 'cause this is not his favorite part of their history, but it has to be said.

"He broke up with her," he murmurs. "Not because he didn't care about her; he did. But because he couldn't understand why she cared about him so much and he thought he needed to find himself. Which he may have been right about, but he went about it in a pretty stupid way. And by the time he'd realized it, she told him he was too late.

You see," he goes on, "she'd found another boy who liked her. His name was Jesse and he was the lead star of their main competition for Regionals. But this boy, the tall and awkward one who broke her heart and wanted her back, he panicked again. And then again when he realized everything he'd given up. She really cared about Jesse, though, because she cares about everyone. Maybe too much and maybe more than they deserve sometimes, but she was always the best person he'd ever known."

He plays with the strands of her hair that are growing out again. He likes it long, and the way it falls over his face when she's on top of him when it's long. She's looking at him intently and her hand is rubbing slow circles on his thigh. He thinks she would probably stop doing that if she wants to hear the rest and he looks at her pointedly. She laughs just a little and stills her hand, instead gripping his forearm, her eyes silently pleading for him to keep talking.

"And things got complicated," he says honestly. "She was with Jesse—who ended up transferring to their high school, apparently to be with her. And man, it just really bothered him. So when this cheerleader, Santana her name is, offered him a chance to lose his dorky V card or something. And at first he said no 'cause he really liked that other girl, but the more the other girl got on well with Jesse, the more he was jealous and hurt, and finally agreed." He takes a deep breath, revisiting the past. It feels weirder than he'd thought it would. "It wasn't special and he tried to pretend it never happened, but he went on watching her and Jesse be a serious and happy couple. Until he got an opening, or so he thought, when Jesse left after she made a little mistake the week before. But she told him she cared about Jesse and he knew he had to do something to prove that the things he felt for her weren't going to go away any time soon."

He grins, reliving the memory of singing "Jessie's Girl," and the way in that moment he knew he loved her.

"So he sang to her, a bold and obvious song, but it got the point across. He needed her to know. Then of course, Jesse came back and a whole shitload of stuff happened." He sighs 'cause when he thinks about it, they really have a messed up history. "But eventually the girl found out that Jesse was a lying sack of _crap,_uh, wait. He was sent to distract her as competition and as it turns out the competition's coach was the girl's mom. Then Jesse went back to the rival team and cracked an egg on her head."

He grits his teeth unconsciously and his grip on her hair tightens a little until he tells himself to relax. Really, this was all years ago. He doesn't need to get so worked up over it. But it's just hard sometimes, thinking about all the bullshit she had to go through, or that both of them had to go through, really. But that's not the point.

"She didn't tell the other boy this part right away, but apparently before Jesse cracked the egg, he told the girl he loved her. But she was sad, and the boy could tell. They'd already been through so much together. And when they found out they probably wouldn't have a chance at winning their Regionals competition, she started to break down. It killed him inside because she'd always been the strong one. And he needed her back; they all needed her because even if none of them would recognize it besides him, they were sort of nothing without her."

He talks about how he went up to her and told her to straighten up 'cause she was the leader and about how she just kissed him on the stairwell and so many things fell into place. It was their first real kiss that was free of guilt. It was soft and sweet and it was more real than anything else he'd ever felt in his life. He tells her about how he knew he wanted to make her happy and how he knew they were both finally in a place to be together, be real.

"And they were," he whispers into her hair. "He told her he loved her right before they went on to sing a duet of Journey's "Faithfully," and even though she didn't say it back, he knew she didn't need to. 'Cause he could see it in the way she looked at him and smiled. And they sang and all the pain from the past didn't hurt anymore. They lost Regionals and it hurt really bad. But they made the most of it. And they spent the summer together learning all these new things about each other that they didn't have the chance or right to know before. And when they went back to school, he was proud of her and to be with her, even if maybe he wasn't always the best boyfriend to her."

His fingers smooth up her arm and over her shoulder, settling on the delicate skin of her neck and lightly tracing patterns into it. "They had a couple rough patches, trying to get used to being in a relationship that made them as happy as they were, but mostly it was good." His hand slips under the strap of her dress, caressing the soft flesh there. "But then things got tough again. The cheerleader, Santana, she didn't like girl really and went ahead and told the whole club how she'd had sex with the boy the year before. He couldn't take how much it hurt her and they fought. Just before Sectionals, as it happens."

He uses his other hand to push the last bit of hair off her neck, placing a line of small kisses from behind her ear to her collarbone, doing his best to stall telling this particular part of the story. Yeah, they'd gotten past it. But it's never been something he liked to dwell on, especially now. "After they tied at Sectionals, the boy and the girl made up because they both knew they were a part of something special. He promised that both of them would never lie ever again. So the girl had to tell him something."

He squeezes his eyes shut momentarily before barreling through. He knows they both hate this part. His voice is barely a whisper when he says, "She cheated on him. With the same boy his other girlfriend, Quinn, had cheated on him with. He didn't want to believe it. Th-they didn't have sex, sure, but he couldn't handle it. This girl and his ex-best friend, Puck, they had a little bit of history, you know. They sorta dated for a while and when it happened, the boy was extremely jealous, even if he didn't have a right to be. He broke up with her because they broke each others' hearts and he didn't know what else to do. It was around then that the girl started becoming close friends with his step-brother, Kurt."

He sees her eyes downcast and shimmering a little. He doesn't want her to feel bad about this 'cause he knows it was simply another roadblock in their relationship and they've long since forgiven each other. He presses another kiss to her neck, this time lingering briefly. "And even though they broke up and the boy was really messed up and confused, he didn't stop thinking about her. And he didn't stop being proud of her, both for being who she was and for starting to realize that people were coming to accept her. For a while he even thought Kurt probably preferred her over him. He couldn't blame his step-brother too much though 'cause she was an amazing girl, you know. All the time. And even though he couldn't be with her and he was experiencing the struggle of being successful after he helped the football team win the Conference Championship."

He talks about how what it came down to was that they both needed to find themselves. "She was just better at it than he was. While she was busy making him proud and showing everyone how much she was worth, he was trying to pry Quinn away from her current boyfriend. He didn't really succeed 'cause the guy dumped her, but he ended up dating Quinn again anyway." He purses his lips. Sometimes he's not sure if he should laugh at his younger self, roll his eyes, or kick him in the nads. Like, honestly.

"But Quinn, and being with Quinn, was never about being happy. It was about winning a prize, about the school respecting him since he couldn't respect himself. But he went on watching that girl, the one he knew deep down that he still loved, but would admit to it, shine and rise above them all. She had this amazing idea to write and perform original songs for the Regionals competition. And it had taken a while, but finally people besides him had supported her idea. And during the process, she had written a few that he'd listened to. But they were just missing that something. He knew because _he_was missing that something too. But in his case, it was just her he was missing. They never stopped being friends, you know. It was what brought them together in the first place. You can break up with your girlfriend or your boyfriend, but neither of them could abandon each other as friends."

Ghosting his fingers across the hollow of her throat, he murmurs, "She wrote a beautiful and moving song for Regionals. And watching her up there performing it did all these crazy things to his heart, and he couldn't even hide it. Because music had always been their thing, their best mode of communication. And her solo was perfect and he'd have been stupid to deny it. Quinn got clingier after that, though he never said anything to her about it. He didn't figure there was a need to since he hardly noticed anyway. He drowned her out most of the time because she mostly talked about Prom and he didn't care that much about it, to be honest. And a part of him knew she was just using him, but he was sort of using her too. To hide from his feelings for that other girl, to not face all the hard stuff. Being with Quinn was always easier just because there weren't as many feelings involved, and the boy liked easier."

She's staring up at him now, her eyes wide and full of emotion. He brushes his lips over her cheek before nuzzling it against his own, his heart racing a little. "But it didn't take him long to get tired of being in a relationship with Quinn, especially now that he knew what it was like to be in a different kind of relationship, a better one. Quinn did her best to come between the pull he felt for that girl, she really did. But nothing worked, really. And they broke up the night of Prom when she didn't win Prom Queen and he told Jesse, who'd reappeared to apologize to Rachel, to back off. Well, he did a little bit more than talk, but it doesn't matter, really. She didn't end up going back to Jesse, though."

He smiles 'cause out of all this, that's one thing that never fails to improve his mood. Sure, he'd sorta been an idiot, going back to Quinn and all, but he liked knowing that Rachel knew better than he did. And knew herself better than he knew himself. "Jesse stuck around for a while longer though and slowly the kids of the glee club started to rally around the girl again. It was inconsistent at first, New York changed things. It changed a lot of things."

He glances toward the window, noting the setting of the sun and how it casts a dim shadow over the living room of their little apartment. "They didn't win Nationals, but it didn't really phase them. They'd worked hard, but Vocal Adrenaline had worked harder. But the thing is, after losing like that, they were more a team than ever. Santana, the cheerleader that hated the girl for so long, actually invited her to her raging party to celebrate the end of the school year. It was that party that got the boy and the girl back together," he adds softly.

She's smiling and her breath is soft and a little shallow as his hands continue working their way around her body. "Neither of them drank anything, but they talked. They talked a lot. 'Cause he noticed she was wearing this pretty necklace that'd he'd gotten for her, a gold star. A metaphor for her love of metaphors. By the end of the night, they were making out in the one of the guest bedrooms and the boy finally felt like he was back home. He missed her while they were apart, even though they were friends. Just missed being close to her and judging from the girl's reactions, she'd missed him too. It was a nice summer. The night before they went back to school for their final year was the first time they had sex. It was a little awkward 'cause he was a little awkward, but it felt right, you know?"

It seems surreal, speaking of it all like this; like it's about two people they've never met. It's probably not the most romantic story ever. Okay, it's definitely not. And no one will ever make a Disney movie out of it or anything, but it's real. It's them; it's just what happened. He wonders if they'll ever tell their kids about it someday. He hopes so. Maybe not all the details or anything, but he likes to think it's more interesting than falling in love at first sight and living happily ever after. Some people don't get their happily ever after until they get the crappy middle parts first. And he kinda prefers it this way 'cause it makes the parts where they finally do get the happy forever even more special and meaningful.

"Kurt came back to McKinley just before Nationals and his boyfriend followed him the next year, and the boy and the girl supported them fully and encouraged others to support them. In the end, it brought the club closer together. People didn't throw slushies at her anymore or call her mean names like hobbit or Yentl. They didn't just appreciate her talent. They appreciated her, too. And Santana, she took the girl under her wing, protected her, and opened up to her. They became friends, really really good friends. Good enough so that Santana stopped making fun of the girl's boyfriend. Mostly. Senior year was good to them. They even won Nationals.

They decided not to go the college route, at least not immediately. She wanted to move to New York, but it was too expensive and he just wanted to be with her. So they compromised."

His lips skim over her face and he sees the smile forming on her lips and he thinks for once, he's found the right things to say. She's always loved stories, whether they were being told or watched in a movie or a theatre show, she's just always found a way to relate to them. And he's noticed it because he notices all these things about her all the time. Because she's complex, sure, and has all these thoughts and feelings, and he likes the challenge and rewards of being able to pick them all out and figure out what they mean. He's good at knowing how she feels and how she wants to feel, and he's even getting better and making her feel the right way.

They've come a long way since high school and sometimes it's hard to appreciate that, like when the landlord knocks on their door to collect rent at three-thirty in the morning or when their neighbors cats sneak through their open window and end up sleeping in their shower. But overall, he likes where they are, both in their apartment in the city, and their lives in general. Maybe she's still working her way up, and really so is he, but she's getting there and, again, so is he. And one day they'll actually be there and he'll get to retell the story with all the missing and added details. And truthfully, the thought kinda excites him.

"They did go to New York," he goes on, "but not to the city. To a small-ish sort of town outside of Rochester. She auditioned for small roles there, 'cause they actually had a pretty decent theatre thing going on there, and he worked where he could. Sometimes it was fixing washers for people, sometimes it was teaching kids how to play drums. But they eventually earned enough money to move to the city, just like she always wanted. And how could he tell her no? He wasn't too attached to any one place, and if she was ready to take the next step of their life, then so was he.

They've been living in the city almost a half a year now, actually. And the girl comes home every night saying how the people at her job don't like her. He knows it hurts her, and he feels bad about it, but it breaks his heart because he loves her and he knows if she just waits, so will plenty of other people. It just takes them time to get used to her personality because people don't encounter the likes of her that much; they're used to the people from the city who stomp on you like a bug. Not pretty girls who are kinda intense, but mostly compassionate and misunderstood."

He takes both of her hands again, entwining their fingers as her mouth turns into his neck. "She works in a deli mostly full-time, with small off-Broadway roles here and there and he's working as a carpenter for now. She's only twenty, though, and will be starting at Julliard in the fall. He doesn't know when he'll go back to fall, but he's been saving most of his money, and with any luck, he'll be able to start next winter. But he's still really proud of her and doesn't love her any less than he ever has just because other people haven't taken to her completely yet." He whispers that last part and her eyes start shimmering again, but he knows her well enough by now to tell that these are the good tears. She's always been emotional, of course, so that includes the good emotions too.

"That boy's starting to grow into a man and his name is Finn Hudson. The girl has turned into a beautiful young woman and her name is Rachel Berry. And right now they're sitting on the floor in their living room while he tries to make her see that people do like her, and even if they didn't, he'll always love her, and the rest is just details, right?"

She turns so she can face him, her knees between his thighs, as her hands cups his face. Leaning forward to kiss him gingerly, she whispers against his lips, "That's a beautiful story." She pulls away, her eyes searching his. "But I think you forgot a part."

"Oh?" He quirks an eyebrow, settling his hands on her waist.

"That girl, the young woman, Ms. Rachel Berry? She knows. She knows that he loves her and that's what matters most. Sometimes she just gets caught up in the details, but she loves him too, you see. She wouldn't be where she is without his support because even though Broadway has always been her dream and her intention, Finn made her realize how silly it all would be without someone to share it with, and without someone who wouldn't think less of her during the hard parts." She kisses him again.

He grins and realizes that maybe it all is just a story. Like, not in reality 'cause they're like real people and it's their real lives and stuff. But when they die (which is a scary thought since he's not planning to die any time soon or anything) it'll be just one of a million stories of all the people who've ever lived. But there's no real Finn Hudson anymore, plain old. And no real just Rachel Berry either. They're still their own people and everything, but all his decisions, he makes them because he loves her and is bound to her. Not in a way where he's obligated or forced into anything. But he loves her, you know? And it keeps them together 'cause it's the only thing that can always keep them together, even when they try to be apart. Not that they try that anymore, but still.

"Well," she says after a while. "One of my coworkers _did_smile at me today. That's progress, isn't it?"

"Totally," he agrees.

He feels kinda proud of himself for being the guy who can make her feel better. Because she deserves to feel good. But mostly, he feels proud of being one half of their relationship.

It's always been his favorite thing to be a part of.

He's pretty sure that isn't gonna change.

* * *

><p><em>so? yes? no? meh? please let me know and thank you everyone in advance for being awesome and supporting me. seriously, it means so much to me. and yay for Born This Way!<em>

_reviews = love :)_

_okay and also, i love getting to know you all. so if you wanna follow me on twitter (egyouppt) or tumblr (youthinkishouldbringagun) i'd love to hear from you! :D_


End file.
